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Coughing, Ash In My Eye, and Those Damn Cookies

2000-01-09|10:00 p.m.

It's Girl Scout Cookie season, and I believe that Girl Scout Cookies could be the devil.

Although I have talked on and off about losing weight, I've really been trying the last couple of weeks. And then, last Friday the Girl Scout cookies I ordered a month ago arrived.

I gave away one box, and left the other two in my car, thinking if I couldn't get them easily, I would not eat them. That didn't work. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and walked into the cold to get them out of my car. Seven or eight thin mints later, I went back to bed.

I am telling you, Girl Scout Cookies are the devil. If you still don't believe me, check out the model on the Samoas box.

See? Girl Scout Cookies are indeed the devil.
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I am watching American Idol right now - and damn, are they evil. They just made a guy believe he was not among the bottom two vote getters, only to turn around and surprise him by kicking him off the show. I am not sure who came up with that idea, but they are probably the same people who laugh every time they see someone get hit in the nuts on America's Funniest Home Videos.

And while I am talking about American Idol, If the losers were not good enough to get votes, why do we want to see them sing again after they are told they suck? And since the judges told pretty much all of them that the song choice was bad, why make them sing the same song again?
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As I am sure you have heard by now, Hunter S. Thompson passed away earlier this week.

The link above is to an article stating that Mr. Thompson wanted his ashes to be shot out of a cannon. It sounds like a way to go out with a bang (I am so sorry) but I am not sure that I would want to be standing below the fireworks display, and get showered in ashes. "Damn it, I think I have a little bit of Hunter S. Thompson in my eye..."
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Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman? The movie is about an outbreak of an airborne virus in a small town. If I remember correctly, one of the first symptoms of the virus was a hacking cough.

Why do I bring this up? There are a shitload of people in my office coughing up a storm, and I am going to be pretty pissed if I end up dead.

The worst part about many of these coughers is that many of them don't cover their mouth. It's really starting to annoy the crap outta me...

As a result, I am thinking about rounding up all of the nasty offenders and showing them the following demonstration. I found the instructions here. But because I care about you, I have copied it below to save you time... (you are welcome.)

Teacher-directed activity: When You Sneeze OR COUGH (that's my addition)
Here's what you need:
Small, clean spray bottle with water
Facial tissue

1) Pretend to sneeze (or cough) and spray a little water into the air. Make sure you are close enough for the children to feel the spray in their faces.

2) Repeat using a tissue in front of the spray. Show how much water the tissue can catch.

3) Discuss the spread of germs through the air and the importance of covering nose and mouth with a tissue. Ask: What if you don't have a tissue? (If none is available, cover you nose and mouth with your hands and then wash your hands carefully.

You don't think that would be a little much, do you?

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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