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Here I Go Getting All Egocentric Again

Monday, May. 01, 2006|1:41 a.m.

Do you ever wish you could predict the future?

Well, maybe not EVERYTHING related to the future (I am pretty sure I don't need to know what will happen to Tom and Katie's baby once they break up,) - but at least you could predict your future?

Okay - maybe not every aspect of your future... (Who really cares what I will eat for lunch next Thursday?) but the really important things... Things like "When am I going to find love?" and "Why is finding it so difficult?" and "Will I ever have a job that I love?" and "Will I be happy when I am older?" or even "Now that I mention it, what am I going to eat for lunch next Thursday?"

Over the last couple of months I've felt some kind of urge to get on with the rest of my life... Don't get me wrong - I think I am happy most of the time... I don't love my job, but I don't hate it. I've got great friends. I am happy doing theater when I can. But I want MORE.

This past week I've had a several people tell me that I'm a great guy and that of all the people they know, I deserve everything from life that I want. It's an awfully nice thing to hear, and they made me feel pretty good when they said it.

I suppose that's the kind of thing that a lot of people tell others when they see something end (one person who told me this the last time I saw her before she moved to Denver and two others told me this during the closing night cast party last night - but they were both drunk.) Nonetheless, hearing several people tell me that in a week makes me wonder if perhaps I am giving out some sort of "I want more from life" vibe...

I agree with them - but only in a sense that I think all of us deserve everything we want from life... It's a great thing to get what we want. Sometimes getting it just means figuring out what it is that we actually do want and coming up with a plan to get it.

How can you come up with a plan for love though? You can go out on lots of dates and not find who you are looking for... (don't get me wrong though - I am not going out on lots of dates... I am not really going out on any dates... it's been a few months since I've been out on one.)

I don't know... Maybe it's just that I want to be passionate about something again. It seems it's been a little while since I've been really passionate about something. I want to feel that way again. But what exactly does it take to get that way? Well, besides lunch next Thursday. Because I really need to know that.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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