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The Holiday Party Incident

2004-12-13|11:47 p.m.

This is the traditional time of year when most companies hold holiday parties - which I always found a coincidence, since it just happens to be the same time of year that 'the holidays' actually take place. The company I work for is no different - our holiday party was last Friday.

I was the head of the committee that organized the holiday party this year.

If you are ever given the chance to serve on a similar committee, do yourself a favor and RUN in the other direction. Planning a freaking party for 100+ people isn't very much fun.

But the purpose of this story is not to tell you about the planning of the holiday party - I mean, THAT would be boring!

Instead, I am going to tell you about something that happened at the holiday party - something that is not boring at all!

(Bill's note: I've certainly put myself under pressure to tell a good story now. Some people cave when they are put under pressure to perform... I just hope it isn't like the date last weekend when... Oh God... Nevermind.)

So anyway, we have a few traditions at our holiday party... One of them is that each department is responsible for putting on a comedy routine - or skit - for the other departments.

The last couple of years one of my coworkers and I have written a skit that consists of pictures in a PowerPoint presentation. It's kind of a blatant rip off of a bit Conan O'Brien does on his show. (Perhaps I will post a few pictures sometime soon...)

This year, rather than use a company laptop computer (they all suck) another coworker, we'll call him 'Ken,' brought in his much better/faster/newer laptop.

So 'Ken' is a great guy to work with. He started with our company about 9 months ago. He does anything he can to help anyone out. I can't say enough good things about him.

So while everyone else was eating, drinking, and socializing, he set the computer up and I hooked it up to a projector. A few seconds after I had finished hooking the projector up, he started testing things.

In the testing process, he accidentally clicked an icon that started showing a porno.

Yeah - there was a giant image on the wall of one man giving another man a blow job.

Imagine a corporate holiday work function in conservative Cincinnati with gay porn playing. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

When the clip started, we looked at each other - neither very sure what to do... I tried to push the screen down on the laptop, hoping it would turn off. (It didn't.) He then found a way to stop it.

It was only on the screen for four or five seconds - but man, it felt like a lot longer than that.

I looked around and it didn't appear that anyone saw it - so I thought everything would be okay.

I felt so bad for 'Ken.' He was nice enough to let us use his computer, and then that happened...

Most of the people we work with don't know he is gay... He's not trying to hide it - but at the same time he realizes that not everyone is understanding of that sort of thing.

The rest of the afternoon went by without anyone mentioning anything. (thank goodness!)

However, at the post-holiday party (a small group of us went to get dinner and a few drinks afterwards) a few people confessed that they saw the 'pre show entertainment.'

I don't think 'Ken' will get in any sort of trouble - but I still worry that he'll be embarrassed if he finds out that others saw it - although I think he has to assume that at least one person saw it...

Today he made several jokes about it - I can tell he feels very uncomfortable...

Seriously though, who here has never watched a porno? He just had it in the wrong place - and clicked on the wrong button...

So that's all I have for now... Do I tell him that others saw it, or do I let it go?
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On a totally unrelated note, have you tried the new Black Pepper Jack Doritos? It turns out they are very good...

Which leads me to this... DAMN you Dorito people! The last thing I want or need is another tasty snack.

I still need to lose some weight. Sigh...
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One last thing... what in the fuck is Holiday Spice Pepsi and why in the fuck would anyone want to try it?

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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