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Strange Stories in the News

Sunday, Mar. 20, 2005|2:34 a.m.

What's up with diaryland? I know I couldn't access it for a few days... I don't think I am alone.

The good news - it's back up. The bad news - everything isn't 'normal' yet.

Since everything isn't really working, I am just going to write a quick "In The News" entry... I will write more later.

What strikes me as odd about this first story is that it just makes a passing reference to an Oregon State University study on homosexuality in sheep.

They are really spending money to find out about homosexuality in sheep? What are they going to find out? The gay sheep prefer cashmere to their own wool?

Anyway, the story focuses on an Oregon State University football player who stole a ram from this study. Police speculate that "Siegert might have been 'too intoxicated to remember'" why he took the ram.

Now at one time or another, most of us have fallen victim to beer goggles and picked up someone at a bar we normally wouldn't have wished on our worst enemy. Usually, it's not until we wake up the next morning that we realize how big of a mistake we made.

This is purely speculation, but had the police not pulled over Mr. Siegert, I am guessing he would have done something REALLY stupid with that ram. I'd have to imagine that all of his teammates are going to have a fun new nickname for him the next time they practice.
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Nudist pastor to hold naked services (There is a picture of the pastor in this news story - Although you can't see his 'crucifix,' it isn't pleasant. View at your own risk.)

Am I going to hell for referring to his private parts as his 'crucifix'? Yeah, that's what I thought. See you there.

Anyway, in the story we learn "Mr Wright, who was ordained three years ago, is also to open a naked music festival at nearby Cabarita and lead services there. Even security guards will be naked at the event..."

At every concert I've been to, there's been at least one ass who causes trouble and has had to be escorted from the event by security. I'd have to imagine that guy won't put up a fight - last thing he'd want is to get hit with their 'billy club.'
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What really surprises me about the next story is how much they were able to write about "Researchers Find Three Major Beetle Groups Coming Up One Testicle Short."

According to the story, three different types of beetles are missing the left testicle. The wackiest part of the story is when Kipling Will, assistant professor of insect biology at the University of California, Berkeley's College of Natural Resources decided to audition for a spot at the local comedy club.

"You might say that these beetles lost all that was left, except for one small group that seems to have lost their right," quipped Will, who is also associate director of UC Berkeley's Essig Museum of Entomology.

Scientist humor sure is nutty, isn't it? Yes, I just said 'it's nutty.' Apparently I am trying to open for Kipling Will.

Ladies and gentlemen, you've been great. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses (and leave me a comment!)

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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