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Latex Gloves, Toe Cleavage, and Short Sleeve Suits!

Friday, Apr. 14, 2006|12:29 a.m.

At lunch a few days ago, a couple of coworkers and I were talking about the increase in 'corporate speak' going around the office. All of us were quite annoyed by this. Somehow, us being annoyed lead to all of us deciding that we were going to sprinkle as many of these annoying phrases into our communication with each other. This lead to me writing the note below after lunch. (I am nothing if not a productive employee.) For your viewing pleasure, I've bolded all of the corporate speak.

"Team,"

It's "crunch time!" It's time we take a "deep dive" into the "challenges" that are at hand. Of course, I am talking about the increase in "corporate speak" around the office. Isn't the use of these phrases by people "in the know" something we can view as a "value added" benefit to the organization?

I don't think we want to "leverage" the use of these phrases against the people who "own" them. The last thing we want is for a "disconnect" to occur, which could leave them feeling "out of the loop." If we simply "embrace diversity," it will no doubt create a "synergy" among the "team" - which is a "win/win" for all parties involved.

Come on, let's not "drop the ball" on this. Don't we all want to be on the "fast track" to the overall "corporate vision"? Who is "on board" with "this critical initiative"?

If you disagree with any of this, perhaps we can "take it off line" to talk about it. Are there any "next steps" we need to take?

"Warmest Regards,"

Bill

What I find most amusing (or is it alarming?) is the fact that this memo could possibly pass as a real memo...
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Speaking of work - I've found that at this time of year (when the weather starts to get warm for the first time in 5 - 6 months) that I start to see some fashion statements that I just don't understand...

I don't claim to be the most hip person in the world, but I can't imagine a short sleeve sweater/turtleneck is in fashion anywhere. (a lady at work had one of these on today...) Don't people wear turtlenecks and sweaters to stay warm in winter? Who in the hell decided to put the two things together, then cut the sleeves off so women could wear it in the spring?

I find the short sleeve turtleneck/sweater almost as annoying as the short sleeve suit.

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While on the subject of fashion things that disturb me at work, I've also noticed that several women at work are wearing shoes that show toe cleavage.

I did a little research, and apparently at this time last year, it started to become fashionable to show off your toe cleavage.

Seriously, am I the only person who doesn't think that this is attractive...

Damn it, cover it up.

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Do you remember reading the story

A few weeks ago I posted a story stating that Ice Machines Contain More Bacteria Than Toilet Bowl Water - which made me want to avoid getting drinks at fast food restaurants. Now, I've stumbled upon this... Licking your Toilet Seat is Healthier than Typing on your Keyboard.

Reading this story made me contemplate wearing latex gloves whenever I work on a computer. Then I stumbled across a problem. When I wear 'the gloves' I don't enjoy typing as much because I can't feel the keyboard as well. So communicable diseases be damned, I am not wearing that latex crap.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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