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The Wine and Cheez Party

Friday, Apr. 08, 2005|2:07 a.m.

I'm not sure if it's because of the movie 'Sideways,' but several of my friends have recently decided to have wine and cheese parties.

I can't help but find wine tastings and wine and cheese parties more than a little pretentious.

When I hear about them, I imagine a pompous ass in a black turtle neck trying to tell me all about the process of making a wine that makes this particular wine just a little more nutty and dry than the last one I tasted.

FUCK YOU!

I've decided the next time I'm invited to a wine and cheese party, I am going to show up wearing a blue blazer with some sort of club emblem on the right breast, a white button down shirt (with an ascot) and a captain's hat.

Usually, everyone is asked to bring a bottle of wine. But come on, is one bottle enough? Hell no! That's why I will bring A BOX of wine!

What kind of boxed wine will I bring? Well, White Zinfandel, of course! Because I know anyone who likes wine LOVES White Zinfandel.

As an extra treat, I will also bring some sort of canned or jar of cheez for everyone - because after all, it is a wine and cheez party...

For your viewing pleasure, I've found a picture that I think would accurately depict the next wine and cheez party I attend.

So who's coming with me?

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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