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Whizzing Through The Headlines

2005-02-12|11:38 p.m.

As I was checking out news stories earlier today, I came across this:

Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test with Fake Penis

So here's a summary of the story... Tom Sizemore has been thrown in jail for violating his probation by failing a drug test after he was caught trying to use a prosthetic penis, called The Whizzinator to fake the results.

I find it amusing that there is actually a prosthetic penis called The Whizzinator that is used to fake drug tests. I can only imagine the wizards behind this wonderful invention.

"Dude, seriously - we get like a fake rubber penis and fill it with fake urine!"
"That would be awesome, dude. If only we could keep the urine warm."
"Dude - we just get some of those little hand warmer thingys!"
"Sweet!"

And scene.

And now, no doubt, these guys have more than enough money to buy all sorts of pot paraphernalia.

I wonder how many google hits I will get because I've used the terms 'prosthetic penis' and 'pot paraphernalia' a few times in this entry. And I wonder how disappointed perverts and stoners will be when they discover it's just a journal entry talking about Tom Sizemore.

Come to think about it, I wonder how disappointed everyone reading this is to find an entry talking about Tom Sizemore's fake penis.

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