Like a little slice of heaven - only not really . . .
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Perhaps someday I will tell you more about me in this space. For now, you just have to learn it by reading my freakin' diary. Now get to it!


Last Five Entries

A note about a note - Monday, Mar. 26, 2007
It's so new it glitters. Okay, that's not true. None of it. - Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2007
Another MySpace Update - Friday, Jan. 12, 2007
MySpace Is Better Than Diaryland - Tuesday, Jan. 09, 2007
Go Over There - Monday, Oct. 09, 2006

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Snake and the Websong

Friday, Apr. 15, 2005|1:00 a.m.

I am sure many of you are wondering "How can Bill ever follow up such a brilliant entry as Smoke and Mirrors?

That's easy! With a good snake story!

Hey kids! Who wants to see Captain Jalal and his snake? (Before a few of you get excited - I feel compelled to let you know that when I say snake, I am not talking about his trouser snake.)

The gist of the story is this: Last week in front of 150 children, Arab entertainer Captain Jalal put the head of a garden snake in his mouth, then slowly chewed it off. Then with the decapitated, writhing snake in his hands, he removed its skin, using his teeth for a better grip. As a finale, he ran through the crowd with the headless, skinned snake in hand, frightening the children.

Apparently, they originally wanted Ozzy Osbourne to bite the head off of a bat for the kids, but he was busy. Luckily Captain Jalal was free.

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Mariah Carey is on Letterman right now. Could she be a bigger skank?

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Have you ever gone to a web site and started reading, only to find after about 30 seconds or a minute, music starts playing?

This is especially annoying during business hours when you are surfing the net while using the computer your employer expects to be working on.

This has happened to me a few times at work. When it does, I make a mad scramble for the volume on my speakers. I follow that up by quickly minimizing the web page and looking very intensely at a business related email that I read for the second time about a half hour ago when my boss walked by while I was reading the daily Dilbert.

But even if I stumble across a website like this when I am at home, I know one thing for sure - I don't want to hear whatever shitty song you put on your website.

This annoying trend has gone on for years. It started with people putting shitty MIDI versions of 'Stairway to Heaven' on their website titled "Patches, The Best Kitty Ever, May She Rest in Peace." (nevermind why I was looking at the site... that's not important now.)

Now, if I happen to stumble across a blog that looks interesting, the latest 50 Cent song may start playing. (thank goodness diaryland doesn't allow you to upload songs.)

The bottom line is this, if I wanted to listen to music while reading your web page, I'd have the radio or a CD on. Knock it off. I don't want to hear your shit.

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By the way, the correct answer to the Mariah Carey question posted above is 'no.' No, she couldn't be a bigger skank.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!


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