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Perhaps someday I will tell you more about me in this space. For now, you just have to learn it by reading my freakin' diary. Now get to it!


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A note about a note - Monday, Mar. 26, 2007
It's so new it glitters. Okay, that's not true. None of it. - Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2007
Another MySpace Update - Friday, Jan. 12, 2007
MySpace Is Better Than Diaryland - Tuesday, Jan. 09, 2007
Go Over There - Monday, Oct. 09, 2006

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My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

Monday, Dec. 05, 2005|12:11 a.m.


Because I care about you, the reader, I like to pass along great products when I stumble across them.

Today is no exception. That's why I give you this. As the website points out, "it's a way to enhance the assets that you already have". Sweet! Who want it already?

As you read on, you'll see that what you are reading about is fake nipples. Yes, you read that correctly, fake nipples.

The reason for fake nipples? Apparently, unbeknownst to me, real nipples stopped being enough to attract guys. so now we've got these. Why am I always the last to find these things out? Man, I feel like a boob. (I am sorry.)

If you are not convinced that fake nipples are not the best idea EVER, I give you the following testimonial, which was lovingly ripped from website (If "Law and Order" can rip things from the headlines, I can rip things from websites, damn it.): I LOVE NIPPLES!! i bought these nipples before i went on spring break and i got more guys than anyone there. People could not stop staring at my hot nipple-baring body clad only in skimpy bikini. i made out with more guys on the dance floor than anyone else there! body perks are THE BEST INVENTION EVER!

Did you read that? It's THE BEST INVENTION EVER! The printing press? I don't think so. The wheel? Whatever. The airplane? Don't make me laugh. Penicillin? You've got to be fucking kidding me! Clearly the best invention ever is fake nipples!

Still don't believe me? Well, then check this out...

Yeah. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
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I start a new job in the morning. Rather than get a good night of sleep, I thought I would write about fake nipples instead. I think we can all agree I made the right choice.
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Loopy, thanks for giving me the opportunity to write a guest entry. I will write something up in the next day or two...

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!


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