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"You must just laugh all the time!"

2004-01-20|12:21 a.m.

"You must just laugh all the time!"

So tonight I am at play practice, and a few of us have some down time while a couple of others practice a dance... I was fooling around with another guy, playing a wacky game we called "The Golden Helmet of Stupidity."

For those who have never played (which I would imagine would be pretty much everyone reading this) basically, we would start an intelligent conversation (BILL'S NOTE: When I say 'intelligent conversation,' basically I mean a conversation that I really have no earthly business being a part of in the first place. For example, talking about Stephen Hawking's theories.) But I digress...

So anyway, we would start the conversation, and then at some point in the conversation, someone would put the 'Golden Helmet of Stupidity' on my head.

Once the helmet was on my head, I would stop talking intelligently and say something like "Me go poo poo in my pants." Very soon after that, I would take the helmet off and say something like "In summation, Stephen Hawking's theories sometimes cause me to make excrement in my trousers."

Yeah, I know, it's not incredibly funny stuff, but it was something to do to pass the time...

So anyway, while we were playing this game, one of our castmates said something like, "I wish I was more like you. You must just laugh all the time!"

Well, it turns out, she is right! My life is a non-stop comedy cavalcade. One that I would love to explain to you in great detail...

I am awakened in the morning by small group of singing gnomes, much like the underpants gnomes from that one episode of South Park.

As I dance from my bedroom into the shower, one of my many muses makes me breakfast. As we eat breakfast, I tell a litany of jokes. Of course, each one is funnier and more original than the last.

As I walk out into the parking lot of my apartment, I see a few neighbors. They wave and smile, calling me over to them. When I get there, they beg me to tell them one of my now legendary anectdotes. I of course comply - I mean, I do not have to be to work for at least another 45 minutes!

So my drive to work is free from traffic, and I arrive ahead of schedule. Once there, I get working on the high profile, exciting project that the President of the company has me working on.

This project is very important, not only to the company, but also to mankind... Although I work for a company that deals with customer care (don't ask - please,) I am working on a cure for cancer based solely on making others laugh.

While working on the project I... Oh fuck, I almost forgot. Rewind to the part right before the gnomes start singing...

There I am, sleeping in bed when my screeching alarm goes off. I hit the snooze button and take my Paxil. I then drift back into sleep for a few minutes and then I am awakened by the gnomes...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Christ, I laugh all the time!

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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