Of all the blogs all over the internet, you've clicked onto mine.

Why Am I Talking About Justin Jeffre Again?

Thursday, Sept. 15, 2005|1:30 a.m.

The inhumane treatment can't be swept under the carpet any more... I feel the need to expose this horrible injustice to as many people as I possibly can - so naturally I have to post something here.

The toilet paper at work sucks - I'd sooner wipe my ass with sandpaper than the shit they put in the bathrooms at work... I'm really thinking about bringing my own TP to work.

What? Did you think I was talking about something else?

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I can stay in Cincinnati now. Justin Jeffre, better known as one of the guys in the pop group 98 Degrees who didn't marry Jessica Simpson, lost in his campaign to become Mayor of our city.

As MTV News pointed out, Jeffre didn't come in dead last. He beat 83-year-old retired shoemaker Sylvan Grisco (0.3 percent, with 130 votes) and security guard and three-time presidential candidate Sandra Queen Noble (0.2 percent, 121 votes), who was unable to raise any money to support her candidacy.

Jeffre's campaign was focused on, among other things, luring young people back to the city. I'm thinking not admitting he had anything to do with the City of Cincinnati would be a great way to do that.

Because I felt the need to be a good citizen, I had to do a little bit of research on good ol' JJ. (His campaign slogan was JJ2K5. Douche Bag.)

I started by going to his web site, there I learned that he is "...a proven visionary with global perspective who has lived the American Dream." What?

Perhaps if the American Dream is to be in a shitty second rate pop group who licks the sweat off the balls of N-Sync and The Backstreet Boys, I could agree with that statement.

I'd say I learned more about him, but reading that was all I needed to hear to hate him and know I wouldn't vote for him.

I could have saved him some money and told him that he didn't have a chance. Here are just a few of the reasons why...

* As mentioned above, his campaign slogan was JJ2K5.

* He was in 98 Degrees. Really, didn't you read the last couple of paragraphs?

* Nick Lachey campaigned for him. Nobody cares what Nick Lachey thinks. If he really wanted to win, he should have had Nick's wife campaign for him in a Daisy Duke outfit.

* This is the picture he has on the top of his web page:

Come on. He looks... well... special. No one wants a special mayor. Perhaps if he was running for mascot of the city, he would have been elected. (please send all hate mail to [email protected].)

* He spells his last name J-E-F-F-R-E. Jeffre? He might as well spell it P-R-E-T-E-N-T-I-O-U-S.

But I suppose that I shouldn't get too comfortable. As the MTV article states, "Don't be surprised if in 2009 Justin Jeffre is back in the ring." - 98 Degrees' Justin Jeffre"

FUCK.

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What in the hell did I just spend all of that time on Justin Jeffre for?

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Because talking about one pop star just isn't enough, I give you this...

In what could possibly be the best news ever, Britney has had her baby!!!.

I think this could be my favorite celebrity news article of the day. It starts by saying
Britney Spears has helped husband Kevin Federline multiply and replenish the earth. Again. and later says "One aspect of the life cycle Spears was not looking forward to was the business of labor. Saying she didn't "want to go through pain," the pop star told the magazine, "I have a feeling I'm going to have an operation [a Caesarian section]. I don't know why, but I hope so.""

An operation?

Any article that makes Britney out to be the dumbass that she really is instead of kissing her dumb white trash ass makes me happy. Thank you E! Online.

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So in a little over 24 hours I leave to go on a cruise to the Bahamas. I'm flying out on Delta, one of two airlines that filed for bankruptcy protection on Wednesday.

If I don't get my drink and snack on my flight, I am going to be pissed.

I am not sure if it's the upcoming trip or the fact that I have to have my shirt off in the upcoming show, but I did something recently that I think most people will laugh at.

Perhaps I was inspired by No Good Daddy's recent entry, but I too had my back waxed.

I don't have a lot of hair on my back, but rather a couple little patches of hair. Looking at my back has to remind people of a bad back yard - just a few patches of grass here and there. (ladies, I will give you a second to regain your self control...)

So now my back is hairless. The ladies on the cruise had better be able to control themselves.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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