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Starting A Conversation Via IM

2004-10-31|2:50 a.m.

Hey - get this... This is entry number fifty!

My original idea was to come up with some sort of fancy clipart to celebrate entry number fifty, but after thinking about it -- it's only 50 entries. Maybe I'll do something special for 100...

And now, on with the entry...

So I was talking to my friend Daphney in IM on Saturday night.

While we were chatting, she had someone send her an IM that said "Hey Beautiful, how are you doing?" She mentioned that it grossed her out. She said it sounded like something that some greasy guy would use as a pickup line in a bar.

Although I had never used this line to start an IM, it got me thinking... If that wasn't a good way to start an IM, could I be guilty of sounding like some cheesy guy in a meat market type bar when I started IM conversations?

Perhaps you can help me out. Below you will find a few starting lines that I have thought about using in IM. Please tell me if you think they are okay.

justuhbill: U WANNA CYBER?

I like this one for a couple of reasons. First, the use of the letter U instead of the word 'you' shows that I am hip. It shows that I know all of the cool lingo that all the cool hip people are using.

I also like this one because it isn't obvious that I'll cut corners to get to the end result. There is absolutely nothing here that shows that I am not willing to spend all the time necessary to make sure she is enjoying herself. Damn, I am a stud!

Here is one that I really think I should use sometime soon.

justuhbill: If you have a webcam, do you want to make an easy fifty bucks?

I'd use this line when I wanted to show off my knowledge of finance. You see, I know that a web cam is an expensive purchase. As a result, I know she might be interested in trying to get back some of her initial investment.

See? I am financially smart AND considerate to her needs. It sounds like what every woman is looking for to me!

Here's a line I like to use to show I am a worldly; a man of experience.

justuhbill: So, your profile says you are female. Is that true or are you some sort of sick freak? I don't want to get burned by a she-mail fag again.

See? It screams worldly. When you read that, you KNOW that I have been around the block a few times.

Another reason I like this one is because it shows that I am tolerant of others -- even if they are different from me.

I'm not done yet though. Here are a few more that I like to use.

justuhbill: Do you have a pic?

Followed closely by:

justuhbill: R U HOT?

These questions show that I am in this for the long haul. To elaborate, I only ask about looks because I want to make sure that after we get married, we have attractive children.

This leads me to the last opening IM line that I will bring up here...

justuhbill: I read your profile and you seem nice. Want to get married?

This doesn't scream desperation or being psychotic at all. Quite the opposite. It says that I care about making an honest woman out of her. I know that's what women are looking for. Am I right ladies?

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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