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I'm Back Telling Bathroom Stories Again

Thursday, Sept. 07, 2006|10:00 p.m.

If you will remember, on July 7th, I said that I wouldn't write here again until I had another good bathroom story to share. (no need to look back at the last entry, I said it. Really. In invisible ink.)

Well my friends, the time has come. To raise the roof and have some fun. (If you recognized the last two sentences as the opening lines of the Lionel Richie song "All Night Long," then you are just as lame as me.)

So anyway, I was in the restroom yesterday when a guy walked up to the urinal next to me. As he started peeing, he smacked his lips and let out a long "ahhhhhhhhh!" like he had just taken a sip of cold lemonade on the hottest day of summer.

Would it have been wrong for me to say "What in the fuck was that?"

As if that were not enough of a bathroom story to share, I've got more. A few weeks ago as I was leaving the men's room, I saw a guy walk into a stall in the men's room with his laptop... Open... Looking at the computer screen as he went in.

Either he REALLY needs to finish a project ASAP (in addition to the project he needed the stall for) or he's really into solitaire.

Now, I've proven here time and time again that I am just as pathetic as the next guy. (see the last entry here as proof), but carrying an open laptop into a stall for everyone to see? Come on.

I don't think I've ever gone this long without updating. It may leave many to ask the question "Where in the fuck have you been, Bill?"

First, don't use that kind of language with me. I am a gentleman, and gentlemen don't appreciate language like that.

Now, where was I? The answer is simple, I spent my summer in Vermont people watching.

Okay, I wish. I really haven't been in Vermont. I don't have a great reason for not updating - other than I have just been out enjoying my summer.

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And now, the internet ad that's annoying the crap out of me...

In the actual ad, you can see these people dance around on the roof of their house. Because that's what you do when rates are low. Right?

Speaking of annoying ads, I'd have to imagine it's only a matter of time before we see ads for this. Oh wait, we already have... On Saturday Night Live (or was it Conan?) - only it was a joke.

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I'll leave you with an amusing and addictive game... It's Roddick vs Pong!

PS - I'll try not to make it another 62 days between entries.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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