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Hootie and the Pee Hole

Monday, Mar. 07, 2005|11:11 p.m.

Aw, Hootie, what happened? Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch? At one time you had a swell 'soft rock' career. Did you blow all the money on hookers? How else can you explain this crappy commercial?

I'd understand it if bigger celebrities were advertising bigger pieces of crap, but really... It's not like you would ever see Brad Pitt advertise Edwin brand jeans or anything.

Wait, that's real? Nevermind. Sorry Hootie.
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I've got a problem - in situations where I am asked to do something I really don't want to do, I have a hard time saying no. The big reason? I can only think of the absolute wrong thing to say - and I know I can't say that.

Earlier this week, I was asked to run lights for a show that looks like it is going to be a giant train wreck... I don't want to have to watch the show every night, nor do I want to be associated with the show.

So when the director asked me, what I wanted to say was "Sorry. I would, but I already have a three week engagement shoving rusty nails up my pee hole."

But that's not what I said. What I said was "Really? Wow, thanks for asking. I will have to check my schedule." I agree it's much nicer, and I will eventually get out of it, but I wish I would have been able to just say 'no.' and be done with it.

Now I have to come up with a good excuse that doesn't involve my urethra and rusty hardware.
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I leave in about eight hours to go see my hometown Reds play a few spring training games in Sarasota and Clearwater, and I haven't started packing yet. I suppose I should get to it...

Have a great couple of days. I will see you on Friday.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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