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Cell Phones, Superman, and Carnival Rides

Friday, Jul. 07, 2006|12:07 a.m.

The other day I had to use the restroom at work. (yes, another Bill uses the restroom story...) Now, if you are anything like me - and for your sake I hope you are not - you like to be entertained every second of every day.

Since I was going to be a few minutes, I thought I would get out my trusty cell phone to play a game while I was sitting there. (Don't pretend you haven't done it... Unless you haven't done it... In which case, nevermind.)

Just in case you weren't aware, it's not really easy to get your cell phone out of your pocket after you have your pants around your ankles, so I got my cell phone out as I locked the stall door. I didn't want to get the phone out any earlier than that - the bathroom usually has 3 or 4 people in it at any point of the day - and this was no exception. God forbid someone think I was going to talk on the phone while pooping.

Now the last thing in the world I would want to do is drop my cell phone in the toilet, so I gripped it extra tight in one hand as I unbuckled, unzipped, etc. (Don't worry - it didn't fall in or anything.)

Unfortunately for me, there's a button on one side of the phone that you can use to take pictures. For some reason this is the area of the phone that I gripped and held very tight. So as my pants were going down around my ankles I heard (and everyone else in the bathroom heard) "CLICK CLICK" as my phone took a picture.

Thoughts like, "OHMYGOD! DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN? DO PEOPLE THINK I AM TAKING PICTURES OF MY GENITALS? OR WORSE YET, DO PEOPLE THINK I AM PICTURES OF THEM?" went through my head.

I had to do something to make sure people knew I wasn't some sort of pervert. But what? I had to act quickly - and lucky for me I have a really quick mind. I said "What the hell?" Yes, I know. Brilliant.

Sometimes I even amaze myself.

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I saw Superman Returns last weekend on an IMAX screen - it had a few scenes in 3D too. (it was pretty cool to see it in 3D, but I thought the movie was very slow in parts.)

Before seeing the movie, I read a couple reviews that mentioned that the new Superman (Brandon Routh) looks like Christopher Reeve. Now there is a big surprise - two guys that look like Superman look alike? What are the odds?

Without giving anything away, there was a scene where Superman was hurt - and he was laying there not moving at all - a pretty tense scene... I started laughing as I thought to myself, "He does kind of look like Christopher Reeve there." Wrong, I know... But I still thought it was funny.

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Did you hear that a few weeks ago in a suburb of Indianapolis that two girls were banned from a church festival for flashing their breasts to a carnival worker to stay on a ride longer? It's amazing what some people will do for a ride...

Unfortunately, the article doesn't mention whether or not Smed got to keep his job as the festival worker.

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I'm taking a road trip to Iowa to help a friend move furniture (exciting!), then off to Traverse City, Michigan to my cousin's wedding, so I probably won't update for a little over a week (which if I update in a week will be an improvement over my usual updating habits.)

Until next time, stay classy diaryland. (someone has to - and based on this entry, obviously it's not going to be me.)

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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