Like a little slice of heaven - only not really . . .
Caramel Creams and the Family
2004-09-23|10:44 p.m.
So it's been a little while since I have updated this, so I thought I would fill you in on what I have been doing since I updated last.
Since we talked last, I got married and had three children, Billy Jr., Susan, and
insert your name here (unless of course your name is Billy or Susan - because really, who would name two of thier kids the same thing - besides George Foreman... or Michael Jackson... or... Fuck, nevermind.)
So anyway, there I was married with three kids. Unfortunately for me, the marriage didn't work out, so a divorce is in the works.
Now poor Billy Jr. is not taking it very well. He has been having lots of nightmares about people abandoning him. As I told him the other night when he woke up sobbing "Welcome to life, you little bastard!" and then I kicked him out of my apartment.
After he was out on the street corner for about ten minutes, 'sobbing like a little girl,' I drove up to get him and told him I was only kidding. Boy, did we have a good laugh!
To punish him for crying, I have made him wear a skirt for the last week ("If you are going to cry like a little girl, you are going to have to dress like one too!" I told him.) He has come home from school every day with another story of kids picking on him. I respond by saying "Kids will be kids, Nancy - now do your homework!"
Discipline is something that a lot of kids don't have these days - but not my kids... They will behave or else.
Okay, none of that is true, but not a lot has changed since the last time I wrote, so I thought I should come up with something.
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So after I read over what I just wrote, I noticed that it's kind of dark...
Recently I have not been in the best of moods - but I am trying to work through being pissed off about work (it sucks,) the show I am in (I think I was robbed of a part - and others who were at the audition have agreed,) and getting dumped in Paris...
I don't really feel like getting too much into it here though, so on to other topics.
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If I am fortunate enough to have kids of my own someday, I don't think I could ever name my son a 'junior'. Something about that seems really wrong to me.
I am not sure if it is the whole "Mini Me" mantality that I think would go along with it, or if it is just the fact that I know my son would be teased by all the other kids.
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So I believe these things are evil...
For those of you who are not familiar with what these are, they are Goetze's Original Caramel Creams�.
For about the last week or two different people at work have brought them in every day. I think I started it by bringing in Life Savers a few weeks ago.
So I seem to have this issue with self control. I can't ever eat just one of them.
This has become even more of an issue because I stepped on the scale this evening for the first time in a few weeks. It seems that since I have been home from England, I have managed to put on about 5 pounds... Fuck.
If I am not careful, within a few months I will have to change my name to Tubby McRoundbottom.
So I wanted to find out what was in these horrible treats, and here is what I found... Ingredients: wheat flour, corn syrup, dextrose, sugar, partially
hydrogenated soybean oil, high fructose corn syrup, modified whey, skim
milk, cream, mono and diglycerides, salt, lecithin, corn starch, and
artificial flavors.
SWEET!!!
SKIM milk. Turns out I can continue eating them without any fear of weight gain!
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I don't usually do this, but here is a little 'test' I took recently that I thought I would share with you...
Category VI - The Strange
Attractor
Though you're not quite sure why, people are drawn
to you like moths to a flame. You really
are too cool for words.
What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yeah, quite exciting, isn't it?
Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!
The Current Terror Alert Level is:
