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Riding Bikes With Caitlyn While Swearing OR The Entry I'm Sure To Get Hate Mail For

Sunday, Aug. 21, 2005|2:52 a.m.

When I opened up my e-mailbox tonight, I had mail from [email protected] titled "My mom not only stuffed me but she made me cum."

Interesting.

I am not sure who Caitlyn is, or why she felt the need to tell me this, but thanks for the info, Caitlyn. I'll keep that in mind.

You don't think Caitlyn's message could be porn spam, do you?

Yeah, I didn't think so either. I am sure she's a secret admirer who is just trying to turn me on.

Caitlyn, while I am flattered, I don't think you are my type of woman. I am looking for a woman who has never had that type of relationship with her mom. Sorry - and best of luck in your search for your special someone. (Perhaps that special someone could be your mom?)

On a somewhat unrelated note, Caitlyn's email address reminds me of the old 80's arcade game Dig Dug. Remember when those were good graphics and this was a state of the art cool ass game? I do. Does that mean I am old? (This is a rhetorical question - unless, of course, you plan on answering 'No.')
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What's happened to Hillary Duff?

She used to be this cute little girl, but she's turned into this:

A raccoon with chicklet teeth.

She scares me. Please hold me now.
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Looking for a fun way to ~~waste~~ spend some ~~quality~~ time online?

If you answered "Yes Bill!!! I most certainly am!!!" then you are way too excited about this. Calm down, it's not THAT much fun.

If you simply answered "Yes." or "Sure, why not?" then go to Merriam-Webster online and type in your favorite cuss words, just so you can click on the little speaker and hear some guy cuss for you.

And if you don't find that entertaining, then what in the hell is wrong with you?
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Did you hear that George Bush and Lance Armstrong rode bikes together?

I wonder if afterwards George showed Lance his awesome fort back in the woods. Or maybe afterwards they turned their bikes upside down in Bush's driveway and made ice cream.

Am I the only kid that turned his bike upside down and turned the petals to 'make ice cream'? (Once again, this question is rhetorical - unless your answer is "I did that too Bill, you were not a really odd child.")

And while I am on the subject of The President, am I the only one who is blown away at the fact that George W. Bush is taking a five week vacation? I've got to scramble around work for three days trying to get everything done before I can take a single day off - and then I pay for it when I get back into the office - trying to sort out everything that's happened while I was out.

My peers tell me it's because what I do is important, and that I am really needed. Hmm... If that's true, what does that say about "W"? (This is not a rhetorical question - I am interested in hearing your thoughts on this...)
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After reading back through what I've just typed, I can't help but wonder if this could be the entry that I gets me my first hate mail...

Hey, a guy's got to dream, doesn't he?

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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