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I Order Food From The Soft Menu

2005-01-31|10:10 p.m.

My weekend was pathetically uneventful - I was asleep on both Friday and Saturday night before 9:00... I never, EVER, do that - but I have been messed up by the time difference between here and Manila. As a result, I could not stay awake any longer either night. Both Saturday and Sunday morning, I was up before 5:00am - which also NEVER happens...

Basically, because of the trip to the Philippines, I've become one of my grandparents... I won't be surprised if at any moment I have to start wearing Depends, and begin ordering my dinner from the 'soft food menu' at Bill Knapp's at 3:30 in the afternoon.

As I write this, it's about 10pm, but I am completely worn out. I am not used to this at all.

I am torn, do I fight it and get back to my stay up all night former self, or do I see if I can finally 'grow up' and sleep normal hours like a normal person?
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So I've come to realize that the only women that I am really myself with are ones that are taken... I think it's because I know that they are not available, and therefore I don't really feel the pressure to win them over.

When presented with a situation that could result in a decent conversation with a woman, I tend to freak out...

Recently I was walking by a Starbucks and made eye contact with a female. She smiled and said hello. My response? Well, I did what every red blooded heterosexual male would do in that situation. I looked down at the ground and walked away without saying anything. I hate to brag, but I am one charming SOB.
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Anybody else hear that Debbie Gibson (or Deborah Gibson as she wants to be called now - because apparently adult women aren't named Debbie.) is going to be in the next issue of Playboy?

I am sure there is some sort of joke that could involve the names of some of her songs - like "Only In Your Dreams," "Foolish Beat," or "Lost in Your Eyes," but I am too tired to find it tonight.

And why in the hell do I remember the names to Debbie Gibson songs anyway?

You don't even want to think about playing Trivial Pursuit with me.

Previously on Ramblin' Bill -- In The Year 2000!

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